An Epic Fail

There is, of course, no such thing as a good telecoms company. There are only variations of suckage.

It is true the world over, I'm sure. (Just ask the folks in Los Angeles how much they enjoy watching their baseball team. Wait, the local cable company doesn't broadcast the local games?? Unheard of!)

One of the things on the to-do list was to cancel the cable/phone/wireless account. I went last week to do this, to see if they would cancel it on a date in the future. Nope, they said, you have to come back on the day you want to cancel.



So after a long day of running around (Paul's visa, it turns out, couldn't be cancelled until we paid the traffic fine. Fair enough, but was anyone going to mention it if we hadn't inquired about its status?) and dealing with two sets of movers, we decided to go out to dinner. Also, because we have no furniture and no utensils and no food.

We get to the Etisalat branch in Mushrif Mall, where the staff is actually helpful most of the time. It was super crowded and we had a 20-30 minute wait before our number was called.

After a snafu where someone who was called showed up late, pushing us out of our slot, they moved us to the next available helper. She couldn't have been nicer, as she told me sure, I could cancel my package, but since I signed up for a two-year contract there would be a fine.

I didn't sign up for a two-year contract. Certainly not knowingly. After weeks and months of badgering I upgraded to a faster internet speed. The caller all but threatened that I would not be able to use my internet without the upgrade. The spam calls here are relentless. This was in May; I knew I was going to give notice at the end of June. Obviously I would not have agreed to a two-year contract. DUH.

So the woman says well, the best option is to call customer service (yes, while I was sitting next to her) and get them to open a complaint. Then they would listen to the call -- they do record the calls for quality assurance!! -- and it would be clear nobody told me it was a two-yaear contract.

Easier said than done. The woman on the phone tried to cancel for me, told me how much I owed on the balance and then told me that since I had a ONE-year contract, there would be a fine. No, I told her, there was no contract,  I wanted to open a complaint. We went back and forth for too long. I finally asked for her supervisor. She put me on hold for five minutes, and came back to say nobody was available.

Finally, the woman next to me motioned for me to give her the phone. She got on, kept repeating "open complaint, open complaint" and the "customer service" rep finally relented. I took back the phone. I was not terribly calm. So when she asked, after giving me the complaint file number if I would like to take advantage of their current promotion, I totally lost it.

"Do I want to get a new contract? When I'm calling to cancel the old one? Because I'm leaving the country? Are you out of your mind? You can't be serious." The woman started to speak and I was done. I'm hanging up now, I said. And I did.

I was amazed. She was upselling me while I was filing a complaint that someone had upsold me AND while I was trying to cancel to leave the country.

The woman next to me smiled in sympathy, told me to check back in a few days, and Paul gently guided me away.

Who needs this crap?